You can change yourself to be a more Emotionally Intelligent leader.

Most of the time our less-than-stellar Emotional Quotient (EQ) probably hold us back from achieving our full potential. It is important to realize that high IQ and vision are of little importance without understanding human emotions. We learn through our daily life that we can't get anything done unless we work with other people.

You can get better at working with other people by following nine practices of emotional intelligence.

1. Realistic self-confidence.

This mean you understand your own strengths and limitations; you operate from competence and know when to rely on someone else on the team. You should not be afraid to admit that you do not know something or you could not do everything well. Details are important and you must feel fortunate that you are working with other people who pride themselves on getting the details right, all the time.

2. Emotional insight.

This mean you understand your feelings. Being aware of what makes you angry, for instance, can help you manage that anger. You may feel panic and take thoughtless actions under enormous pressure. You can control or minimize these thoughtless actions. If you feel panicked, try to go out for a run to clear your mind and let the part of your brain that tries to solve problems go to work on the underlying source of the panic. The important point to realize is do not make most of the decisions immediately.

3. Resilience.

This means you stay calm under pressure and recover quickly from upsets. You don’t panic. In a crisis, people look to the leader for reassurance; if the leader is calm, they can be, too. You must follow this practice.

4. Emotional balance.

This mean you keep any distressful feelings in check. Instead of blowing up at people, you let them know what’s wrong and what the solution is. Sometime you would find it very hard to keep your emotions in check. Simply, you can disciplined yourself to try to count to 10 silently before you say anything when you are feeling strong emotions. Once again, decisions and responses are not required immediately. You can develop a network of people with whom you can share your negative emotions without taking unproductive action.

5. Self-motivation.

This mean you keep moving toward distant goals despite setbacks.

6. Cognitive and emotional empathy.

This mean you understand other perspectives and you can put things in ways colleagues comprehend. You welcome their questions just to be sure. Cognitive empathy, along with reading another person’s feelings accurately, is instrumental for effective communication. Always keep your communication channel open with your colleagues they should talk with you or find a way to communicate if they are feeling stress, anger or confused so that you should try to offer them a way to relieve those emotions. 

7. Good listening.

This mean you pay full attention to the other person and take time to understand what they are saying, without talking over them or hijacking the agenda. Never try to cut people off if you assume that you know what they are trying to say. For sure this this annoys people. You should learn how to listen by focusing your eyes at a point on their foreheads, rather than staring back at their eyes. This practice will allow you to think of follow up questions that will help you to be confident you did not miss something that they intended.

8. Compelling communication.

This mean you put your points in persuasive, clear ways so that people are motivated as well as clear about expectations. Never try to over-communicate your expectations. If need be repeat several time what is required? What factors would be taken in to consideration? What is dead line and any other thing that may be required for purpose of clarity?

9. Team playing.

This mean people feel relaxed working with you. One sign: They laugh easily around you.

Team playing works best if you respect the people on your team. You have to be good at jokes. 

By following these practices you can find yourself very much there. So, let’s start it from today.